As I’m absorbing the sunshine from the Kulhavi courtyard with one of my new found best friends, it’s hard not to get nostalgic as I celebrate finishing my finals and therefore my Freshman year. I first created this blog so I could remember my first year of college and see how much I’ve changed. So now that my Freshman year is over, I feel like a summary is appropriate.
“HI! I think you are my roommate, Sewnya?”
“It’s Sahnya”
“Oh I’m sorry!”
*HUG*
This is where is started, a mispronunciation of names and piecing together a jankity futon. Soon it grew to be so much more than that. I lived with girls who drove me crazy when they never locked the door or cleaned their closet, but I wouldn’t have done it any other way. There were nights when we stayed up doing the things we told our mothers we never would do. Nights we pretended never happened and mornings when we asked, “what the hell happened?” We made mistakes, memories, taught each other, shared closets and food. I learned that she pees with the faucet running, she takes pictures like it’s her job, she loves cheesy potato day in the RFoC, she doesn’t know how beautiful she is, she drinks a Monster more than water, she quotes Marilyn Monroe, she is hilarious if you pay attention, she knows when you need a hug and "she" is each one of my three beautiful roommates.
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world… Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." – Our woman, Marilyn Monroe
Not only did I share my Freshman year with my roommates, but I made beautiful friends that I plan on keeping forever, whether they like it or not. When I first came to school, I was nervous I wouldn’t find people who thought like me or who I loved as much as my friends back home. But I got lucky. A walk to a football game, bonding over a piece of garbage that made us both “Smile”, laying on the futon talking for hours about our pasts, reading poetry, laying in the sunshine, taking trips to Kaya, puking at State, getting spontaneous piercings, “I think my vagina swallowed my tampon!”. Consoling, crying, cuddling, laughing, rollerblading, eating, holding hands, braiding hair, watching movies, snowboarding, dancing: these are the people who made my Freshman year special. They put up with my illogical worries, made me feel worthy when I didn’t, encouraged me to become an RA, and were ALWAYS there when I needed them. People that showed me what genuine friendship looks like. People that I may not know like the back on my hand yet, but I’m getting there.
And I would be lying to myself if I didn’t acknowledge the heartbreaks. If I didn’t give recognition to the boys I fell for, then I couldn’t take credit for the times I stood back up again. What I couldn’t have learned in any other way, was how important it is to love myself first. But this section will be small because I’ve said my peace, learned my lesson and already written too much on my blog about boys.
“And you’ll never know dear just how much I loved you, you probably think this was just my big excuse. But I stand committed to a love that came before you, the fact that I adore you is but one of my truths.” -AniDifranco
Probably the craziest thing that has happened to me this year was becoming an RA and part of the Wheeler staff family. I have never been so scared of failure and rejection than at that point of my life. BUT with the support of my amazing friends and the guidance of other staff members, I survived! And I am so glad I made the choice I did. Some nights were lonely and remorseful, I ate solo often and forgot what a party looked like. But the knowledge and strength I gained from the staff I was accepted into was amazing. They made me bolder, stronger, smarter, and have taught me the ways to love. It’s was a group of people that I don’t think it is physically possible for me to love and appreciate them more.
“Turns out , not where, but who you are with is what really matters.” –DMB
But finally, here’s to me. All these people I have mentioned have helped me go through this year and have seen me become who I am today. Although they were more than wonderful, I still spent a lot of time alone, figuring things out, "faking it to make it", smiling through the day, and balancing my planner. There were struggles; some nights sucked, some days did too. But I thoroughly believe that without pain of life, you cannot appreciate the beauty of life. It’s comforting to know that I am the same person as I was when I came into Wheeler, just a stronger version. "Sadie 2.0" I had a choice to be any person I wanted, but I still chose to be me. Which is good, because I am stuck with me for quite a while. Not to say there still isn’t room for improvement. I mean, I would still like to learn to play guitar, drive a stick shift and walk into the RFoC with no make-up on.
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss
Now if you actually have continued reading this, I’m impressed and I thank you: this would be the PERFECT time for a “Remember When?” for Freshman year.
