Thursday, September 4, 2014

Gap Year

Can you avoid adulthood? For me: so far so good. 

We make excuses for ourselves in answering, "What are you going to do with yourself?"
At least I do.

High school: "I don't even know what college I want to attend, I'm too young to decide yet."
College Freshman: "I'll just take my GenEd requirements, then I'll figure it out."
College Sophomore: "I'll just study this, work here for now and worry about that later."
College Senior: "I'll go to Europe and when I get home I'll be ready to figure out my next step."

How am I figuring it out?
I'm working a minimum wage job and living at my parent's house. I'm working out, playing (pretending to play) my guitar, reading books, walking my dog, drinking coffee,... and wine.  I'm going to the farmer's market, socializing and watching Netflix.  But I'm working hard, spending little, and saving all that I can but always answering, "So what's next?" Here's what:

I'm taking a gap year.

When I went to Europe this summer, I thought I would return having 'found myself'.
That I'd be tired of meandering and want to be rooted.
But I 've hardly stretched my branches.

I came back with more questions than answers, hungrier than before I left. I met people who changed my world. Women younger than I am who took a year off their work or school to travel the world, alone. My mother thinks that is just unsafe. But I think I've been kept safe long enough.  Travelers who quit their jobs, sell their things and survive on experiences. They run with bulls, sandboard in the Sahara, and swim with sharks. They cliff dive, drink until 5 am, speak three languages (at least) and don't think twice about it.  And we, us college graduates, we don't do this so we can answer that, "what's next?" question. 

What's next?
I am next.

Unlike most all other cultures, Americans aren't encouraged to take a gap year between high school and college. We aren't allotted a time to travel or to desire knowledge on our own terms. So I'm demanding it now. I'll work a shit job and build up some dust on my degree because all I want is this adventure ahead.  Don't teach children to chase their dreams if you're going to keep their feet on the ground. Americans only give their children shoes to walk to their next job interview.

But my mom, she gave me wings you see... you better believe I'm using them.